Sunday, August 7, 2011

Ask Anything

Let me say at the outset that savvy city dwellers have nothing on country dwellers.  When it comes to being canny, I’ll bet on someone fresh off the turnip truck over a city slicker any day.  

As relative newcomers to the state of Oklahoma as well as to rural living, Kel and I often have questions; maybe not the most fascinating of questions, but the answers to them are important to us.  That’s why we feel fortunate to have befriended knowledgeable locals, good, fine people who were born and raised here, steeped in the customs and traditions, weather patterns, history and legends of this fine prairie state; honest folks who are eager to help out a stranger.   

Locals who are certain that we are “visiting relatives” or “just passing through” (one woman was convinced that Kel was the new preacher in town), are not shy about asking us questions.  Before a conversation picks up any kind of steam, invariably we are asked: why did you move to Oklahoma?  Emphasis on the why.  This is accompanied by a look of exasperation and dubious suspicion.  

The streets here, unfortunately, go only one way.  When we seek answers to our questions – generally about gardening, weather patterns or ranching, more often than not our friend, old or new, suddenly falls victim to the mumbles, shifts their eyes away from ours, seeking refuge in the distant horizon line.  Then they say something along the lines of, “well, now…I really couldn’t say…”  No amount of rephrasing the question produces a direct answer.  One time Kel invited a neighbor over for the explicit reason of having him help us select a site for a new pond.  He’d just had one dug on his property and being a local, we took him for if not an expert, at least someone more knowledgeable about pond-building than ourselves.  Kel and neighbor spent a few hours mucking across the rain-soaked 160 acres analyzing several potential sites.  Dappled in mud and soaked with rain, Kel finally asked him which location he thought would be the best.  The answer left Kel just as clueless as before the muddy trek over the pastures.  Our neighbor gazed off - surely a nugget of pure, country wisdom forming like storm clouds in his head - and pronounced, “It all depends on what a man wants.”  

This gentleman would’ve made a fine match for another friend.  When we asked her how many cattle she ran on her property she became vague, her voice dropping into the low registers and then she changed the subject.  And this from a lifelong cattlewoman and someone with whom we’ve broken bread many times and exchanged Christmas gifts.

We still ask questions of our friends and locals, not so much because we think we are going to get the answers, but out of habit and routine.  A kind of politeness.  Maybe it’s even expected of us.  But when we really want an answer to something now, we Google it.


  1. Those Okalahoma folk sound like country folk around the UK. We've always preferred the rural life to that in town, and have encountered both in our travels around the globe. But the same thing is true everywhere. Country folk like to be asked, but think one learns by experience! Too bad that in some parts of the UK, one is a comer-in always: other parts you're not "one of the folks" until you've lived in a village for 10, 15, or even 20 years. So, keep asking the questions: one day, they might get tired of them, and actually tell you what you want to hear. But, then, as you say Google is rapidly becoming a great substitue: except that it really ain't local, is it?

    Best of luck!

  2. I love it is in the town that I live in (moved to from the City-Honolulu) Hilo, Hawaii...the Big Island. I used to think it was crazy, as we are all one state, just divided by the ocean...but you probably hit the nail on the's the country vs city thing. Thank goodness for Google!

  3. this is a very interesting perspective :) My husband and I live in Tulsa now but are raising support to be missionaries in Berlin, Germany and I am sure we are going to run into similar obstacles. Thanks for sharing this.


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